Post by reporter on Apr 23, 2010 11:00:08 GMT -5
As a reporter for softball in the area, I decided to take a break from watching high school games. I found myself in Crest Hill last night viewing some spectacular 8U players. Not in my wildest dreams, did I expect the entertainment to come from off the field.
In the first inning, a looney hag sitting behind home plate starting chirping at her daughter, "Snap the wrist! Snap the wrist!" Goodness, the pitcher was seven years old. This woman made Darth Vader seem more compassionate.
I heard rumors of a lady named Worstmom who lost her emotions and yelled at girls. I walked over to a worn out looking gentleman who needed a shave, bath, and teeth brushing. I asked him if that was Worstmom. He replied, "No, that is my wife." I responded, "Sir, I am sorry for your loss. That woman makes Archie Bunker look like the friendliest person in the world."
As the innings went on, I was wishing that I was in the dentist chair facing a drill. This woman's cackling was worse than nails across a chalkboard. Apparently, this motor mouth had a nickname of Crazy Tiny Mother, or something like that. Crazy is an understatement.
I walked around looking for a friend of this woman so that I could get the low down on her. Unable to find anyone who would admist to being her friend, I walked up to one of the Hawk coaches. I don't remember his name. He was the one with the t-shirt, shorts and horrendous looking legs. He told me that this woman's birthday was the next day.
"Ah Hah", I said to myself, "perhaps this is where this cooky fan's anger comes from". I looked at her and thought she looked okay for a 50 year old. Maybe the hair dye got in her eyes or something.
My final thought is a message to this Crazy Tiny Mother,
"Lady, get over it. You are old. Stop worrying about it. Bingo Day at McDonalds is next wednesday. You are well past your prime. Cheer up. Have A Happy Birthday."
Reporter
In the first inning, a looney hag sitting behind home plate starting chirping at her daughter, "Snap the wrist! Snap the wrist!" Goodness, the pitcher was seven years old. This woman made Darth Vader seem more compassionate.
I heard rumors of a lady named Worstmom who lost her emotions and yelled at girls. I walked over to a worn out looking gentleman who needed a shave, bath, and teeth brushing. I asked him if that was Worstmom. He replied, "No, that is my wife." I responded, "Sir, I am sorry for your loss. That woman makes Archie Bunker look like the friendliest person in the world."
As the innings went on, I was wishing that I was in the dentist chair facing a drill. This woman's cackling was worse than nails across a chalkboard. Apparently, this motor mouth had a nickname of Crazy Tiny Mother, or something like that. Crazy is an understatement.
I walked around looking for a friend of this woman so that I could get the low down on her. Unable to find anyone who would admist to being her friend, I walked up to one of the Hawk coaches. I don't remember his name. He was the one with the t-shirt, shorts and horrendous looking legs. He told me that this woman's birthday was the next day.
"Ah Hah", I said to myself, "perhaps this is where this cooky fan's anger comes from". I looked at her and thought she looked okay for a 50 year old. Maybe the hair dye got in her eyes or something.
My final thought is a message to this Crazy Tiny Mother,
"Lady, get over it. You are old. Stop worrying about it. Bingo Day at McDonalds is next wednesday. You are well past your prime. Cheer up. Have A Happy Birthday."
Reporter