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Post by craigwalker on Dec 26, 2007 10:50:09 GMT -5
Starting tonight at 10:00PM, the Homer Hawks will be presenting our version of a Christmas Carol. It will be broken up into 3 parts.
Roget Ebert reviewed the script and gave it a Howard Kobata (thumbs up). He commented, "I especially liked the ghosts of CrazyMiniMom and HawknIt2. They were terrifying."
Disclaimer: The characters portrayed are strictly fictitious. It is purely coincidence that the main character is named Bill Judge.
Tune in tonight to see what everyone is raving about.
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Post by craigwalker on Dec 26, 2007 23:55:59 GMT -5
Due to a late night manager's meeting and last minute editing sessions, the Hawk Christmas Carol has been postponed for 1 night. Tune in tomorrow at 10:00PM.
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Post by Meeting Attendee on Dec 27, 2007 0:02:20 GMT -5
Does MArcie know where you were tonight?
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Post by Hawk 'n' it "2" on Dec 27, 2007 0:32:16 GMT -5
If not, we have some spare blankets to share, in case you need them.
Looking forward to the show...... = )
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Post by A Concerned Friend on Dec 27, 2007 1:44:29 GMT -5
The couch and dog house is vacant tonight as well. ;D
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Post by craigwalker on Dec 28, 2007 20:12:27 GMT -5
A HOMER HAWK CHRISTMAS CAROL
Starring: William Judge as Scrooge
It was late on Sunday night, around 1:00AM according to my watch. I had just pulled into my driveway at my Plainfield residence. The Vizza party was alot of fun. I had the chance to really get to know some of the other Hawk coaches and wives.
"Boy, did Lisa Vizza really underachieve or what, when she married her husband, " I thought. "Come to think of it, Maria OBrien didn't do much better."
"Even with those thoughts in mind, nothing is worse than my current situation. My house is a mess and my wife sits and watches Springer all day. Vampires do more in the day than she does."
As I walked into my house, all I thought about was my discussions with Betcher, Walker, and Vizza that night, "Why don't they understand," I thought. "Velocity always beats speed."
Lately I had become consumed with the philosophies of fastpitch softball. "Its all about physics" I kept muttering to myself. What was wrong with me. It was the Christmas season and my softball cheer was all gone.
"What do those people know about fastpitch softball anyway. I almost played professional baseball when I was younger", Bill thought to himself. "Do you think Betcher could demonstrate the thumbs down approach?" My mind wouldn't stop as I walked up to bed and got under the covers. As my eyes grew heavy and my mind wandered off, I had a strange feeling that something different was going to happen tonight.
I quickly awoke. How long had I been sleeping. I felt a strange presence near me. I looked around and noticed a strange looking person standing next to me. I was startled, but I could not take my eyes off the creature. Its face was a cross between Scottie Pippin and Seabiscuit. Its body looked like something out of Lord of The Rings. Its eyes reminded me of Igor in Young Frankenstein. In my partial slumber, the creature muttered something to me. My nose caught the piercing stench of its breath. "Good Lord," I said, "Your breath smells like a 100 wildabeasts."
"Shut up, Bill!" I heard through the silence. "Its me Deb. You are in big trouble for those comments."
I quickly attempted to get out of bed. I threw over the covers and I heard a clank on the floor. "What had I dumped in the process?" I thought. In an effort to evade the angry female, I quickly jumped out of bed. Instead of finding the clean surface of the floor, my feet slipped on something wet. My feet went out from under me and I banged my head on the night stand.
As I slipped into unconsciousness, all I could think about was, "Oh no! I dumped my tobacco spit on the floor and I slipped on it". This was the last thing that I remembered, as I passed out.
"Wake up Bill. Wake up Bill"
I opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful woman that I had ever seen in my whole life wearing a Homer Hawks shirt. "Why couldn't my wife look like this," I thought.
"I am the ghost of Crazyminimom. I was once watching a 10U fastpitch game and my cowardly husband, in an effort to save himself, threw my in front of a foul ball."
"Why are you here?" I said, as I lay there shaking.
"Bill, you have lost the softball spirit, and I intend to help you get it back", muttered the ghost of Crazyminimom.
"People have forgotten how to throw a ball. All they care about is not being tooo slow. In my day, the ball pointed away from you and it was thrown with great velocity" Bill said. "How can I have passion when everything I believed to be true is gone?"
"You will be receiving visits from two more ghosts in the next 2 days. There is still time to save you before the spring season starts" spoke the ghost. "I must warn you, however. The next ghost that will show up is not as beautiful as me. She is, in fact, quite grotesque! The only thing worse than her appearance is her personality"
"How will I recognize her?" asked Bill.
"She will be wearing a camera", replied the ghost of Crazyminimom. "Now go to sleep".
TO BE CONTINUED
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Post by Peanut Gallery on Dec 30, 2007 21:24:23 GMT -5
While we are truly enjoying the entertainment you are providing, we must comment on that the delays in the presentation of parts are quite a buzz kill for the overall showing. We understand as your fingers may be frozen from all the nights spent in the doghouse hampering your typing, here are a couple of hints to help you along:
You may want to consider applying the chapstick quite liberally to save those lips in order to speak the dialogue for Part II. In addition, please change the batteries in your new watch as it's affecting your timing for the delivery of the continuing story. And... You really don't want to continue to anger Marcie!
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